Smoking

[Gordon]

Dear Tom,

Given that you are still alive, I assume that you stopped liaising with tobacco some time ago. In sober moments, I often think that I ought to stop also, but somehow I enjoy it too much. Can you offer any advice on kicking the habit ( tobacco smoking that is!) other than not going to a shop and buying the stuff, or begging one's friends at parties for "one last one"?

Best wishes,
Gordon

[Tom Baker]

Gordon,

I don't do advice but I'm not short of opinions. I know how seductive nicotine is especially for people with bad breath and no private life who can't sleep. A good night's sleep is impossible for smokers as they must obey the habit and make a pot of tea and read Spinoza. But apart from longing for death there is the dreadful condition when smokers discover that they cannot enjoy a good laugh because they will go into convulsions of coughing. Which means they must at all costs avoid amusing companions, thus further increasing their loneliness. What a vile habit even for the lonely: but oh, how much I miss it. Not a day passes that I don't think of my beloved Rothmans King Size. But then suddenly I had a chance to be happy and I snatched at it and dropped the fags. Have you decided where you want your ashes to be scattered, Gordon? I think you should decide and quickly because you are doomed.

Affectionately yours,

Tom