Dear Mr. B.,
Operating on the assumption that you might come on here to read your birthday greetings, I'd like to take this opportunity to ask...
Won't you reconsider and come back? We miss you, dammit. I had a lovely little question about Satan all ready to go, and I just haven't had the heart to delete it. It still sits there, languishing in cyberspace, unwanted, unloved, and, worst of all, unanswered. Now, wouldn't you like to come back and answer my satanic question? If you want, perhaps we could all agree to ask satanic questions for the first round, thereby making your suffering total and rampant. Wouldn't you like that? You just might, you know. So, what say you, ol' fellow... send in the clowns? There ought to be clowns.